10 years + forever.

This summer, Kevin and I will celebrate ten years of marriage.

After dating/engagement for almost four years, we got married on July 5, 2013, in a grassy field in the middle of a park in downtown Lawrence, Kan. We made a commitment to love one another, to choose one another – in sickness and in health – for richer and for poorer – until death do us part. Ten wonderful years we’ve had in the covenant of marriage, and truly, I treasure every second of it.

Our first five years before having children were dedicated to pursuing a call to ministry through the mission of Young Life. I’ll never forget the day that Kevin and I were on a bike ride “date” from our rental house on Tennessee Street to that same park at which we said our vows. After talking about the potential of grad school and moving away for several years of dating and early marriage, I challenged Kevin to truly lead me, to lead our marriage, and decide if we would stay in Lawrence or move away. He rose to the challenge and boldly told me the Lord was calling us to stay. I rode my bike the entire way home in silence, angry at God and at Kevin. I didn’t understand what was next for us here in Lawrence.

It was only a few months later that the Lord made it clear why He called us to stay. He provided an opportunity for Kevin to come on full-time Young Life staff as the KU Young Life College director in 2015. We got a dog, found Free City Church, bought a house, and made Lawrence our home.

In this next season with Kevin on staff, we had all three of our children – Lydia in 2018, Eliza in 2019, and Caleb in 2021. While my role within Young Life shifted between volunteer to part-time staff back to volunteer, our primary family mission remained the same: to share Jesus with college students and help them grow in their faith. We spent many summers and weekends with our growing family at Young Life camp. We spent countless hours on KU’s campus at Young Life Club, leading small groups, and meeting with students in coffee shops. We’ve met and had the opportunity to get to know so many incredible people through this ministry from all over the country. Many of our best friends we met through this ministry. We’ve been ministered to and ministered through the mission of Young Life on staff or as volunteers for all 14 of our years following Jesus together.

It is with this beginning that Kevin and I share that our chapter on Young Life staff has formally come to close.

Leaving Young Life staff was an emotional decision for us, and one that we have spent many hours talking over together, in community, and with the Lord discerning next steps. I have wrestled much with God as I process through the callings He has for us, and the purpose He has for Kevin, who is truly the most gifted minister I know. What we’ve heard from God over again is that a change in his job is not a change in his calling. For the gifts and calling of Christ are irrevocable (Romans 11:29).

Rather than a calling away from ministry, God is calling my husband—both of us—to ministry in different spaces and in different ways. Last August, the Lord led me first to step away from Young Life and on staff in the role of KIDS and Communication Director at Free City Church. He has affirmed this calling as the exact fit for me and for our family in this season of our lives. As we waited and continued to listen for Kevin’s next steps, our biggest prayer was that it would be a job that served people in the local Lawrence community, provided a work-life balance that would allow him to be present at home and in church ministry, and would financially provide for our family of five.

This prayer, the Lord answered, far beyond our expectations. We are excited to announce that Kevin has accepted a role as an Associate Financial Advisor with Edmonds Duncan Registered Investment Advisors. With their office located in downtown Lawrence, Edmonds Duncan helps individuals in our local community achieve financial objectives with confidence and personal service. We are so grateful, and I can’t wait to see Kevin take on a new challenge and a new adventure!

This has truly been a season of transition in many areas. As we cross over our 10-year wedding anniversary in a few weeks, Kevin will start his new job and our oldest daughter Lydia will prepare to start Kindergarten. Our church is going through a transition as well, having launched out a new church in Topeka, Kan., sending out many of our dearest friends, and I step into a deeper role on church staff here in Lawrence.

When it seems that I am facing change all around me, it’s the Word of God that brings me great comfort and peace:

“But everything that was a gain to me, I have considered to be a loss because of Christ. More than that, I also consider everything to be a loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.”
-Philippians 3:7-8

Young Life staff has been an identity marker for us. I have been proud of our role and the way Kevin has served the Lord faithfully as the KU College Director. I have loved this season of having and raising little children. I have so many fears as I look ahead to the next chapter: having school-aged children, Kevin transitioning out of ministry, and our community here in Lawrence shifting. This verse from Philippians reminds me that any circumstances I could control or chose for myself, I count as “loss” when compared to the incomprehensible value of knowing and following Christ.

When my foundation is Him, though the rains will fall, and the floods will rise, I will not collapse, because my peace and joy is built on the Rock (Matthew 7:24-25).

The intimacy I experience with Christ through obedience and faith is far more fulfilling than any other life I could make up for myself. For me, to live is Christ (Phil 1:21).

In the midst of change –
here’s to 10 years of marriage,
to the next 10 years,
and
Lord willing,
the next 20, 30, 40, and 50 years.

Our circumstances,
our community,
our jobs,
will likely change again over this time frame.
Our marriage will grow and continue to sanctify us.
Our children will grow up and move away.

But one thing remains:
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8).

God is working all things for my good
and
His glory.
He is worthy of all my trust
and
all my life,
in every season
forever.

THE TREE.

THE TREE IN THE GARDEN.

The Bible starts out telling us about a different tree. The tree of life that holds the knowledge of good and evil. God created humankind through Adam and Eve and gave them complete freedom in the garden with only one rule: do not eat the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil (Genesis 2:15). Yet they were convinced by the Enemy’s promise for God-like wisdom and chose to eat the fruit from the tree and disobey God (Genesis 3:6).

The Enemy was wrong. The Enemy had deceived them. Instead of becoming like God, Adam and Eve were overcome by guilt, shame, brokenness, and fear.

Because humankind turned away from God, sin entered the world. And because we continue to turn away from God every day, choosing to listen to the voice of the Accuser and give in to the desires of our flesh, sin reigns.

I don’t think I need to convince you that we live in a world still today where guilt, shame, brokenness, and fear reign. From a competitive pressure to be the best, the smartest, the prettiest or have the most—and we fall short of unreachable expectations—we are covered in guilt (you haven’t done enough) and shame (you’ll never be enough). Within a country that is so polarized that we are making the simple fact of ending racism or wearing a mask during a pandemic something that’s political—and no systemic solutions in sight—we are broken. And in the midst of it all, we are consumed by fear.

I was listening to a new PitBull song recently and his words struck me: The only thing that spreads faster than any virus is fear. I think I shouted an “Amen!” back at PitBull through my car stereo the first time I ever heard that song. There’s never been a time in my life where I’ve seen this more present than during COVID-19. Our world is controlled by fear.

where is our
hope?
Where is our sign of life
in the midst of our
grief?

THE TREE ON THE HILL.

When sin entered the world, God had a plan for restoration that involved another tree. Jesus was killed on a Cross, a tree stripped of roots and branches. In this undeserving death God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21). Hallelujah.

Through faith in Christ, we are made right with God and our relationship with Him is restored! He frees us from guilt, shame, brokenness and fear through His blood shed on the Cross.

This tree is now our
sign of life
in the midst of our
grief.

And friends, this is good news. We have life and hope in the midst of the never-ending trials of this world because our hope is in a God who rose from the dead and is making things new. We believe that we were not merely created for a comfortable and happy life, a life that comes and goes like a breath in time, but we believe that God created us for a greater purpose. He has promised for those of us who believe in Him that as we put away our sin and love others, He will produce in us love, joy, and peace in place of our brokenness.

He doesn’t just remove our sin. He redeems it. And as He rose from the dead, He calls us to rise.

Will you rise redeemed with me in the midst of your fear? Will you choose positivity and gratitude in the midst of a dark season of guilt, shame, or brokenness? Will you strive for peace with those around you, instead of division? Will you choose to believe that “He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6)?

Will you hold on to our sign of life (Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection) in the midst of our grief?

He has called us higher than simply getting through. Just as He is the vine, and He has called us to be the branches and to bear fruit—fruit that will last (John 15:1-17). He has called us to pursue hospitality and love in the midst of physical distancing (Romans 12:13). He has called us to fight for racial justice in the midst of racism in our systems (Romans 2:11). He has called us to stand firm in our faith and use our voices to speak the truth in love, being a light to the world (Ephesians 6:13, Matthew 5:14).

I read this quote recently, written before COVID-19, but I believe it applies well: “Our goal in life is not simply to survive the current hard thing in hopes that it will be our last. Rather, we endure whatever God has for us to the very end, believing God’s promises even when we can’t see the outcome” (Risen Motherhood).

If you’re still reading, I pray there is something God has for you in all of this to encourage you. Take a deep breath. Go outside and sit in the shade under a tree. My friend, as He speaks, listen. He is our life.

promotions.

July 17, 2018July 17, 20182 Comments

Last November I tagged along with my husband to the annual Young Life College conference in New York City. Almost 13 weeks pregnant, I’d just recently had a conversation with my boss informing her that at the end softball season, I would not be continuing on as the KU Director of Softball Operations. I wasn’t leaving for another job nor was I leaving to be a stay-at-home mom. I knew that my vocational calling was in ministry. There was no job waiting for me, but I needed to have faith and trust the Lord in this calling even if it didn’t make logistical sense.

At that conference, we got to hear from a profound speaker who is on the executive leadership of Young Life. He told a compelling story of how he took a professional demotion to follow God’s calling in his life. His words have stayed with me through this season:

“A promotion in this life is getting one step closer to the thing that God has ultimately created you to do.”

God gave me confidence and clarity in that moment. Yes, I’m leaving a career that has a clean and clear road to professional prosperity and financial security. Yet it feels like this step out of college athletics and into full-time ministry is a promotion.

T H E . B E G I N N I N G .

For the past eight years, I have been serving in a ministry called Young Life. I became a student leader as a sophomore in college while I was also a student-athlete at the University of Kansas. My husband Kevin, who I was dating at the time, also became a volunteer Young Life Leader in the same year. Pouring our lives into college students, building relationships with them, mentoring them, and helping them grow in their faith has always been a passion that both Kevin and I have shared. This ministry is what kept us in Lawrence even after we both graduated from the University of Kansas and got married. In 2014, when we realized that full-time ministry with college students in Lawrence was our long-term calling, I was interning with Young Life and Kevin was preparing to transition out of personal training and into a full-time, paid role as KU Young Life College Director. The following year, I was a private softball coach and pursing this joint mission with most of my time alongside Kevin.

In the spring of 2016, I was offered the position as Director of Operations for the KU Softball Team and a chance to work under my former Head Coach, Megan Smith. Since I was already established in Lawrence, this opportunity was too good to pass up. I knew that taking this job in college athletics ultimately meant that I would be sacrificing Young Life, but at the same time, this job still fit into my primary calling to serve college students at the University of Kansas. In my mind, this just narrowed my focus to serving the softball student-athletes. I was excited to be around the game again at a high level and wondered what God had for me in the world of college athletics.

T H E . P R E S E N T .

During my two years as Director of Operations, I learned a lot about a career in college athletics and a lot about myself. I loved working under Coach Smith and of course working for my alma mater. Being around the game again was energizing and exciting for me. The Director of Operations job was difficult and tedious, but after my first year, I felt like I settled into my role and was thriving. However, I also quickly discovered that a career in college athletics meant sacrificing my gifts and calling to be in full-time ministry. While I was serving college students in a sense, I was more behind the scenes instead of in a direct mentoring and leadership role.

I missed the ability to build deep relationships with college students.
I missed leading Bible Studies and teaching students about Jesus.
I missed our weekly Young Life Clubs and engaging with new students.
I missed helping students find a community where they would be accepted and loved for who they are.
I missed spending my days working alongside my husband to reach students with the gospel of Jesus, build them up as leaders, and launch them into the real world.

Additionally, my administrative gifts that helped me succeed as a Director of Softball Operations were also needed in Douglas County Young Life. Kevin is such a natural pastor, teacher, and evangelist, but he needed help with the event planning and fundraising that comes with vocational full-time ministry. As his wife, who also feels a deep calling to this mission, I’ve felt compelled to come into more of a direct role by his side to help out in these specific areas.

We had dreamed about the upcoming transition even before the exciting news that I was pregnant with our first child! Our daughter Lydia’s anticipated arrival only confirmed that the time was now to pursue my calling because of my ability to work from home or bring Lydia on the job with me in ministry. In God’s perfect timing, Lydia’s due date was in mid-May, just after the conclusion of softball season. Sure enough, I packed up my office on May 11 and went into labor three days later! I’ve had the great joy of easing in to my new role with Young Life and in full-time ministry ever since.

T H E . F U T U R E .

Already, this summer has been filled with ministry to students who are in town and planning ahead for the upcoming school year. Our Young Life students love to come over to our house and hold Lydia while we talk about Jesus and life, and this brings me so much joy!

I also took over as the volunteer chair of our Young Life Committee for donor care and am using my gifts to serve on the financial side of our non-profit organization. Additionally, I am serving the greater mission of Young Life as a Personal Donor Development Coach, mentoring new Young Life Staff in their journey of fundraising personal support. While these two roles give me titles and direction, they don’t pay much. My dream is to help our organization get in a place financially where my role would turn into a part-time paid position that would be more sustainable for our family long-term. But this dream is ultimately uncertain and not guaranteed.

Regardless, I have learned this:

Permission to pursue a calling
does not come from a job title or a paid role,
but from a personal prayer life.

Seeking the Lord in prayer for the last five years since graduating college has put me on a path that has lead me here. I am more confident than ever in my gifts, my calling, and where the Lord is asking me to work and serve with the best of my time.

T H E . B O T T O M . L I N E .

As I step forward into this new season of motherhood, I wanted to share this important part of my journey too. Not only am I fulfilling my calling as a mother, but I’m also living freely in my calling to pursue the work that God has before me. The Enneagram-Type-3 “Achiever” in me has battled through a false need for having a paid job to be in ministry, but the Holy Spirit reminds me that’s not how the kingdom of God works.

So yes, I’m a stay-at-home mom perhaps by society’s standards. But to me, I went back to work the day I got home from the hospital. My work simply doesn’t look like the world’s work. There’s no paycheck transferred into my bank account right now, but my reward is in the joy and satisfaction of knowing that I’m walking in obedience to God’s calling on my life.

So here I am
by no means have I arrived
and yet
I’m one step closer
to what my Father in Heaven
ultimately created me to do
for His glory
and my good.

Cheers to promotions.

“And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6)

one month left.

April 21, 2018January 23, 20191 Comment

Her due date is May 21, 2018. One month to go.

One more month of preparations.
One more month of pregnancy.
One more month of anticipation.
One more month until we meet baby Lydia Evelyn.

Thank you God.

I do enough thinking about the things I have left to do in the next month, what labor and delivery will be like, or what life will be like when we come home from the hospital. So with this entry I want to prioritize looking in my rearview mirror at what has passed behind me, to share and to celebrate all that God has done in the past eight months.

D E S P E R A T E . D E P E N D E N C E .

The Lord has taught me much about myself and my desperate dependence on Him.

After finding out we were pregnant, there was much joy but also much fear. Recently walking through multiple miscarriages with my best friend, I knew that our baby’s health was nothing but guaranteed. Every day was a gift. Some days I would feel cramps or pain, unsure if that was normal or the first sign of loss. Then there was the day I saw spotting of blood while at work. I returned to my office from the bathroom, closed my door, and just cried. After calling my doctor and urgently leaving the office for blood work at the hospital, I began to realize that this was only just the beginning of motherhood. I desperately wanted to take control of keeping this little life safe yet felt utterly helpless in my quest.

Sure, I can avoid certain foods and drinks, take my prenatals and stay active. But ultimately her entire health, her entire life, is in God’s hands. I am desperately dependent, every single day.

For the first trimester, I saw hardly any changes to my body and just felt sick all the time. A few months later I started feeling better, yet still little changes as I passed my 16-week milestone. The fact that I was pregnant became surreal because the initial excitement and announcing the news ended and life was continuing on as normal. The rush of the holidays took over as another semester ended, I turned another year older, and my husband and I started to pack our bags for the drive from Lawrence to spend Christmas in Dallas with family.

While packing for the trip, I was texting a friend who is also pregnant. She had just returned from the hospital after an emergency sonogram revealed a infection in her uterus. I pressed “send” on a text that looked something like:

In the midst of your scare, it’s just a reminder that God is in control.
He has our babies’ days numbered.
They are His.

In that same moment, I felt Lydia kick for the first time! I collapsed on my bed, not out of pain, but out of complete shock. It was as if she was responding by the very same breath:

Mommy.
I am here.
Trust Jesus with my life.

J O Y . A N D . R E L I E F .

The next day, Kevin and I loaded our Christmas gifts, our suitcases, and our dog Titan for the trek down to Dallas. To pass the time, I was reading aloud from my Advent Bible Study by She Reads Truth. The devotional was on none other than than the passage from Luke 1:39-45 that surrounds pregnant Mary visiting her pregnant cousin Elizabeth.

In those days Mary arose and went with haste into the hill country, to a town in Judah, and she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth. And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit, and she exclaimed with a loud cry, ‘Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! And why is this granted to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For behold, when the sound of your greeting came to my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.” (Luke 1:39-45)

For clear reasons, this passage hit me in a whole new way. I thought about pregnant Mary, with the Son of God in her womb, yet the same anticipation, fear, and hope that she was experiencing. As I processed this to Kevin, I felt the fluttering kicks in my own womb for the second time! Lydia again was reminding me that God was in control of her life. Since this time, I experience joy and relief every time I feel her move. I can feel her grow with the passing weeks. Her every move is a gift.

Around 20 weeks, which is exactly halfway through my pregnancy, I had my first sonogram and actually was able to see my baby move. I got to count her fingers and her toes and see the shape of her little tiny body. When the sonogram tech showed the profile of her face, I simply cried. Yet these tears were much different than the fear driven tears I had experienced that day in my office. These were tears of relief. God was finally changing my heart from fear of losing her to hope of her arrival.

F E A R . T O . H O P E .

The days that followed included our gender reveal and naming her, which you can read about in my last post: Naming Lydia Evelyn. This was a turning point in pregnancy and God has made His sovereign grace more clear to me with every passing day.

As if there could be any more meaning behind her name, here’s one more: Her name, Lydia Evelyn Tietz, will give her the initials L.E.T.

May her life be a constant reminder to me to
L E T . G O .
of my fears, my inadequacies, and my helpless attempts to take control
and
L E T . G O D .
restore my hope, be my strength, and allow Him to take control.

Since letting go and letting God, trusting Him wholly without fear, He has provided in an abundance of ways. In spite of the busiest time of year for my job, I’ve had family, friends and coworkers absolutely spoil us with baby showers and almost everything we need for Lydia’s arrival! He has provided Kevin and I time to make preparations, take classes at the hospital, and time to enjoy these last few months just the two of us. He continues to provide every day as I watch Lydia grow with each passing week.

With one month left, He has transformed my heart from fear to hope, and showed me more than ever that He, our Creator, is in ultimate control.

And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6)