Tag: marriage

10 years + forever.

Leave a comment

This summer, Kevin and I will celebrate ten years of marriage.

After dating/engagement for almost four years, we got married on July 5, 2013, in a grassy field in the middle of a park in downtown Lawrence, Kan. We made a commitment to love one another, to choose one another – in sickness and in health – for richer and for poorer – until death do us part. Ten wonderful years we’ve had in the covenant of marriage, and truly, I treasure every second of it.

Our first five years before having children were dedicated to pursuing a call to ministry through the mission of Young Life. I’ll never forget the day that Kevin and I were on a bike ride “date” from our rental house on Tennessee Street to that same park at which we said our vows. After talking about the potential of grad school and moving away for several years of dating and early marriage, I challenged Kevin to truly lead me, to lead our marriage, and decide if we would stay in Lawrence or move away. He rose to the challenge and boldly told me the Lord was calling us to stay. I rode my bike the entire way home in silence, angry at God and at Kevin. I didn’t understand what was next for us here in Lawrence. 

It was only a few months later that the Lord made it clear why He called us to stay. He provided an opportunity for Kevin to come on full-time Young Life staff as the KU Young Life College director in 2015. We got a dog, found Free City Church, bought a house, and made Lawrence our home.

In this next season with Kevin on staff, we had all three of our children – Lydia in 2018, Eliza in 2019, and Caleb in 2021. While my role within Young Life shifted between volunteer to part-time staff back to volunteer, our primary family mission remained the same: to share Jesus with college students and help them grow in their faith. We spent many summers and weekends with our growing family at Young Life camp. We spent countless hours on KU’s campus at Young Life Club, leading small groups, and meeting with students in coffee shops. We’ve met and had the opportunity to get to know so many incredible people through this ministry from all over the country. Many of our best friends we met through this ministry. We’ve been ministered to and ministered through the mission of Young Life on staff or as volunteers for all 14 of our years following Jesus together. 

It is with this beginning that Kevin and I share that our chapter on Young Life staff has formally come to close.

Leaving Young Life staff was an emotional decision for us, and one that we have spent many hours talking over together, in community, and with the Lord discerning next steps. I have wrestled much with God as I process through the callings He has for us, and the purpose He has for Kevin, who is truly the most gifted minister I know. What we’ve heard from God over again is that a change in his job is not a change in his calling. For the gifts and calling of Christ are irrevocable (Romans 11:29). 

Rather than a calling away from ministry, God is calling my husband—both of us—to ministry in different spaces and in different ways. Last August, the Lord led me first to step away from Young Life and on staff in the role of KIDS and Communication Director at Free City Church. He has affirmed this calling as the exact fit for me and for our family in this season of our lives. As we waited and continued to listen for Kevin’s next steps, our biggest prayer was that it would be a job that served people in the local Lawrence community, provided a work-life balance that would allow him to be present at home and in church ministry, and would financially provide for our family of five. 

This prayer, the Lord answered, far beyond our expectations. We are excited to announce that Kevin has accepted a role as an Associate Financial Advisor with Edmonds Duncan Registered Investment Advisors. With their office located in downtown Lawrence, Edmonds Duncan helps individuals in our local community achieve financial objectives with confidence and personal service. We are so grateful, and I can’t wait to see Kevin take on a new challenge and a new adventure!

This has truly been a season of transition in many areas. As we cross over our 10-year wedding anniversary in a few weeks, Kevin will start his new job and our oldest daughter Lydia will prepare to start Kindergarten. Our church is going through a transition as well, having launched out a new church in Topeka, Kan., sending out many of our dearest friends, and I step into a deeper role on church staff here in Lawrence.

When it seems that I am facing change all around me, it’s the Word of God that brings me great comfort and peace:

“But everything that was a gain to me, I have considered to be a loss because of Christ. More than that, I also consider everything to be a loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.”
-Philippians 3:7-8

Young Life staff has been an identity marker for us. I have been proud of our role and the way Kevin has served the Lord faithfully as the KU College Director. I have loved this season of having and raising little children. I have so many fears as I look ahead to the next chapter: having school-aged children, Kevin transitioning out of ministry, and our community here in Lawrence shifting. This verse from Philippians reminds me that any circumstances I could control or chose for myself, I count as “loss” when compared to the incomprehensible value of knowing and following Christ.

When my foundation is Him, though the rains will fall, and the floods will rise, I will not collapse, because my peace and joy is built on the Rock (Matthew 7:24-25). 

The intimacy I experience with Christ through obedience and faith is far more fulfilling than any other life I could make up for myself. For me, to live is Christ (Phil 1:21). 

In the midst of change –
here’s to 10 years of marriage,
to the next 10 years,
and
Lord willing,
the next 20, 30, 40, and 50 years.

Our circumstances,
our community,
our jobs,
will likely change again over this time frame.
Our marriage will grow and continue to sanctify us.
Our children will grow up and move away.

But one thing remains:
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8).

God is working all things for my good
and
His glory.
He is worthy of all my trust
and
all my life,
in every season
forever.

dear husband.

1 Comment

Dear Husband,

You are 30 years old today.

I remember when you were 20 years old. That’s when I met you. Back then you were really just a kid. I was too. I was only 18. You caught my eye then, but I never imagined who you would become.

I never imagined the way you would pursue me.
The way you would chase after God’s will for your life with a relentless drive.
I never imagined you would save every penny from your first real job to buy me a ring.
That you would buy that dang ring as soon as you could and propose almost two years before you knew we’d be married.
I never imagined you’d get down on one knee, in front of the entire ministry that we held so dear to our hearts and ask me to marry you.
I said yes.

I never knew that we would travel Europe, backpack through national parks, road trip across the country, and spend summers at Young Life camp.
I never knew that we would build a life in Lawrence.
That we would a buy a home and start to make it our own.
That we would adopt the world’s weirdest and most timid dog.
I never knew how many softball games you’d sit through.
That you would make me coffee every morning and hold me every night.
That we would say yes to a life of ministry, challenging each other daily to give our lives away.
You never lose sight of Jesus.
Thank you.

I never knew how many tears you’d see my cry,
but also, how many times you’d make me laugh.
I never knew the way you would fight for me to pursue my dreams.
You are my constant encourager and my biggest fan.
I wouldn’t be half the woman I am today without you.

I never knew the way you would be at my side, calming me through childbirth.
I didn’t let you leave my side the whole time—not that you wanted to.
That experience taught me that your voice is the loudest in my life.
Your voice is louder than the pain I feel on the hard days.
What you say, I believe.
I trust you.

I never knew the way you would weep when you saw our daughter, Lydia, for the first time.
The way you would dance with her
and play with her
and care for her.
I never knew the way our daughter would look at you.
You are such a good Daddy.
She thinks the world of you.
So do I.

But all those things have come to be, and
here
we
are.

You are 30 years old today, and I am so proud of who you are.

You are a man of integrity.
You are a man who fights your sin.
You are a man who sees the brokenness in the world and fights for justice.
You are wise, you seek knowledge, you seek truth.
You’ve gained the respect of many around you,
but no one respects you more than I do.

I see what no one else sees.
I see the way you hide away early in the morning and late at night to spend time with Jesus.
I admire that and often wish I had a faith like yours.
I see the way you prioritize Lydia and I, even when outside voices are the loudest.
You choose to drown them out to be still with us.
Thank you.

So here’s to the next 10, the next 30, or Lord willing the next 60 years.
Let’s lock arms and grow old together.
There’s no other man I’d choose to spend the rest of my life with.
Thanks for being my partner, my lover, and my best friend.

Let’s continue on this crazy ride as parents.
Let’s take on more house projects we regret.
Let’s keep chasing the next generation of college students, sharing Jesus with them, and caring for them regardless of their response.
Let’s keep serving in our church every Sunday we can.
Let’s keep fighting for our marriage to be first.
Let’s keep chasing Jesus and selling out for His kingdom.
Let’s keep giving away all that we receive,
and never forget that the best is yet to come.

Happy birthday, Kevin. I love you.

Your Wife

choices.

Leave a comment

When I was pregnant, I wondered who Lydia would be. Now when I think of my little girl, I imagine her bright blue eyes and shy smile. I realize all-the-same that I love her so deeply not because of what she’s done, but because of who she is. She’s my daughter.

Many days I look at Lydia and think about what it means to be a child of God. Now that I am a parent, I think about what it’s like for God to be like our Father. I wonder how He must love running to comfort us or hold us when we are upset, and how He must love meeting every one of our needs!

Lydia is growing, and at almost three-and-a-half months old, she seems to be hitting new milestones every few days. From rolling over to laughing to reaching for toys, I am in awe of this little one. As she’s becoming interested in what’s around her and gaining head control, I’ve noticed that she’s started turning outward while I hold her so that she can face the world. Lydia is learning that she has the choice and the control over where she looks and where she moves.

As Lydia has gotten older, she often prefers to look out at the world. Yet there are certain moments in the day, especially if she’s tired or not feeling well, when she will choose to curl up and bury her face into my chest. My entire heart melts as I embrace her, rock her, and hold her close. As a newborn, that’s all she really knew how to do. But now, there is something even sweeter about her choosing to turn in to me when I know that she has the choice to turn away.

And with this I’m learning how much God must love it when we choose Him in our day-to-day moments.

We have the ability and the freedom, not just to turn away, but to walk away.
Yet when we choose
to turn in
to rest in the arms of our Father,
He delights in us.

 

L O V E . I S .

We all have choices to make. God loves us so deeply that He gives us a choice to love Him back, yet He is longing for us to choose Him. And it’s not just the one time we accept Jesus as Lord that we choose to follow Him. It’s all the little moments that we turn into His arms, every day, that He loves.

Often in marriage, I have found that love is not simply a feeling, but more-so a choice. After nine years with my husband, five of those married, some days choosing to love would not be the most convenient, natural, or the easiest option.

Yet I choose him.
I choose to trust him even when it’s easier to be angry.
I choose to ask for his forgiveness even when it’s easier to be defensive.
I choose to listen to him even when I have other things I could be doing.
I choose to love him even when I have momentary doubts or fears.

Often in my relationship with God, I have found that love is not simply a feeling, but more-so a choice. Even after ten years of following the Lord, some days choosing to trust Him would not be the most convenient, natural, or the easiest option.

Yet I choose Him.
I choose to trust Him even when it’s easier to be angry.
I choose to ask for His forgiveness even when it’s easier to be defensive.
I choose to listen to Him even when I have other things I could be doing.
I choose to love Him even when I have momentary doubts or fears.

 

B E L O V E D .

God chose us. He chose to send His Son to die on a Cross as the penalty for our sins, so that we could justly receive the forgiveness of our sins and be placed in right standing with God. Because of His choice, we now have the privilege of experiencing fullness of life in a personal relationship with Him.

And
in case you’re doubting today,
God chose you
and
you are never too far gone
to choose
to run back
into the arms of Your Father.

Just as Kevin and I love Lydia not because of what she’s done, but because of who she is, God loves you not because of what you’ve done, but because of who you are. We are His beloved children, and He is longing for us to choose Him.

 

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him… ‘For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’” (Luke 15:11-24)